Another reason why text messaging is so great these days.
April 6, 2009 9:58pm
Bert: Don't forget to watch jizz in my pants.
Me: What?!!??? U just jizzed in ur pants and u want me to look at it??!!
Bert: OMG. LOL. That was too funny.
Analysis: So was the LOL really a "laughing out loud cause it's funny"? Or was it "laughing out loud as in, wow, that's pretty embarassing and awkward". You be the judge.
2 minutes later, I watched Jizz In My Pants. On YouTube that is.
Friday, April 10, 2009
Sunday, March 22, 2009
Where Heart Meets Blender
I learned a long time that rejection is a part of life. It happens to everyone. Sometimes more often to certain people but no one is immune from it. That's fine. You get over it and move on. But there comes a point where it just gets ridiculous and down right silly.
My friend and I decided to play a game last night during our visit to a Hollywood disco. Our task was to simply approach ladies and just start a simple conversation. Easy enough right? Who doesn't like to talk? Girls do it all the time. It wasn't even about getting numbers. Just innocent conversation. Why is that so painful to every girl who goes out to a bar/club? Every girl imagines herself to be Jessica Alba and decides they'd rather chew on tinfoil than exchange a few pleasantries. **News Flash** Those girls are Sandra Oh at best and need to calm down.
The venue we visited had the typical asian fare and clientele. Nothing out of the ordinary. After a couple of drinks to help "lube" up, we set out to meet some new people.
Here's a brief recap of our encounters:
1. We first approached a pair of ladies who were sitting down chatting. They looked friendly enough so we broke into conversation. This lasted a few gracious minutes and we bid adieu. It wasn't so bad. The night seemed so young and promising. How we were so wrong.
2. Soon thereafter another pair of ladies caught our attention. We approached and immediately got the cold shoulder. Whatever. It happens. We move on.
3. The next group of girls were definitely a bit more lively though. They decided to have some fun with us and asked us to sing happy birthday to one of the girls. So of course, being as lubed up as we are, we belt out the best HB song we can. We get a few awkward smiles and then an immediate departure. Im never singing HB again. To anyone.
4. We approach a table of girls. Conversation commences but ends half a minute later when all 5 of them decide they need to use the restroom.
5. After a bit of roaming around we come back to the patio. I see #2 again and decide to give it another shot. I get the look of "hey douche, can't you see im busy not talking to you". And I thought I was doing her a favor.
6. As the night winds down we find ourselves near the dance floor. We spot the HB girls and approach them. We remind them that we did sing HB for them but they must have knocked their heads on each other because they can't recall that we did. One of the girls says something but I can't hear her words amid the loud music. I start towards her to get within earshot of what she was saying but then I get the immediate "hands up and don't move or ill pepper spray your ass and blow my rape whistle so my friends will all come and save me" look. Really? Is that necessary?
Moral of the Story: Girls are just retarded.
My friend and I decided to play a game last night during our visit to a Hollywood disco. Our task was to simply approach ladies and just start a simple conversation. Easy enough right? Who doesn't like to talk? Girls do it all the time. It wasn't even about getting numbers. Just innocent conversation. Why is that so painful to every girl who goes out to a bar/club? Every girl imagines herself to be Jessica Alba and decides they'd rather chew on tinfoil than exchange a few pleasantries. **News Flash** Those girls are Sandra Oh at best and need to calm down.
The venue we visited had the typical asian fare and clientele. Nothing out of the ordinary. After a couple of drinks to help "lube" up, we set out to meet some new people.
Here's a brief recap of our encounters:
1. We first approached a pair of ladies who were sitting down chatting. They looked friendly enough so we broke into conversation. This lasted a few gracious minutes and we bid adieu. It wasn't so bad. The night seemed so young and promising. How we were so wrong.
2. Soon thereafter another pair of ladies caught our attention. We approached and immediately got the cold shoulder. Whatever. It happens. We move on.
3. The next group of girls were definitely a bit more lively though. They decided to have some fun with us and asked us to sing happy birthday to one of the girls. So of course, being as lubed up as we are, we belt out the best HB song we can. We get a few awkward smiles and then an immediate departure. Im never singing HB again. To anyone.
4. We approach a table of girls. Conversation commences but ends half a minute later when all 5 of them decide they need to use the restroom.
5. After a bit of roaming around we come back to the patio. I see #2 again and decide to give it another shot. I get the look of "hey douche, can't you see im busy not talking to you". And I thought I was doing her a favor.
6. As the night winds down we find ourselves near the dance floor. We spot the HB girls and approach them. We remind them that we did sing HB for them but they must have knocked their heads on each other because they can't recall that we did. One of the girls says something but I can't hear her words amid the loud music. I start towards her to get within earshot of what she was saying but then I get the immediate "hands up and don't move or ill pepper spray your ass and blow my rape whistle so my friends will all come and save me" look. Really? Is that necessary?
Moral of the Story: Girls are just retarded.
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Why "hugging it out" is the only way to go...
Between guys, there's always a "handshake" or greeting that we do when we see each other and when we're leaving each other. Not just a regular "thank you for your time, we'll let you know next Wednesday about this position" kind of handshake.
Observe the following:
These are all standard common "you're my homie, homeboy, bro" shakes.
Sometimes, you don't really know which handshake type-of-person they are. So you kind of have this moment of "let me follow and see what you do and I will play along with it". Can we say awkward?
Yesterday, as Henry was leaving my house, we had a "moment". I reached out with my left hand to give him a normal handshake and he had an awkward look like "ok, so you're a lefty".
He reaches out with his left hand, but with a little hesitation. So I immediatelly jumped to thinking, he was the "lean in, hand-to-shoulder type" <3rd>. He had the look of "whao, what are you doing? What is this? Why are you leaning into me?"
Seeing that he wasn't responding to my lean-in, we ended up in a unspoken agreement at "the touch" <2nd>.
SO AWKWARD. It looked like two stiff guys, doing hand signals and one guy trying to hug another guy.
So I propose, from now on, guys should just all "hug it out". Eliminate the guessing of what kind of hand-shaker you are.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Death Cab For Cutie
March 16th, 2009 - 10:13pm
I get a text message on my iphone: You, me, death cab for cutie. Hollywood bowl. You in?
I think to myself - yesssssss!! I got asked to go on a date!!
I reply back to Bert Choi: Yeah, I'm down.
Man-date scored! I'm loving life again.
I get a text message on my iphone: You, me, death cab for cutie. Hollywood bowl. You in?
I think to myself - yesssssss!! I got asked to go on a date!!
I reply back to Bert Choi: Yeah, I'm down.
Man-date scored! I'm loving life again.
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